Support After a Difficult Birth
You spent months, or perhaps even years, imagining and eagerly anticipating the day your baby would be born. But when that day finally arrived, things didn’t go as planned. Instead of feeling excited, and joyful, you might have felt vulnerable, frightened, confused, powerless, abandoned, or violated. Maybe things happened so fast or were so overwhelming that you had to suppress your feelings to get through the experience. Now, even though you and your baby are physically "okay," it seems like you are expected to simply move on. You hear comments like, "You have a healthy baby, that’s all that matters!" and yet, you can’t stop thinking about what happened.
You are not alone. Up to 35% of women report experiencing trauma during or after their birth experience. Common reasons for birth trauma include a loss or lack of control, fear for your baby’s safety or your own safety, overwhelming physical pain, a very long or very short labor, emergency interventions, and poor communication by medical care providers. Importantly- it is your experience and perception of the experience that determines if the birth was traumatic. No one else’s opinion matters. A birth can be traumatic or impactful even without physical harm or major trauma to the mother or baby. Birth is unpredictable and our lack of control around it makes us uniquely vulnerable. Anything that threatens your sense of safety or connection can be traumatizing, regardless of the outcome.
Counseling can help you heal after a distressing or traumatic birth.
Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing after a distressing or traumatic childbirth. You may find it difficult to talk about your negative birth experiences, but when feelings stay stuck inside, they can intensify and take up more and more space in your thoughts. In therapy, your experiences are validated and you are able to process the emotions that come in a non-judgmental, supportive space.
We talk through memories and feelings from birth that have caused you grief at the pace that feels safe for you and help you access a more self-compassionate stance toward your experience. When trauma symptoms are present, therapy can also help alleviate these symptoms, allowing you to move into motherhood in a peaceful, present and healthy way.
FAQs
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Risk factors for birth trauma include a birth experience that did not go as planned and significantly fell short of your expectations. Complications during labor, such as needing interventions like forceps, vacuum delivery, or an unplanned cesarean section, can contribute to trauma. Birth injuries to mom or baby, like significant tearing during delivery that requires intervention, and the baby needing medical attention after delivery, including NICU stays, are also risk factors. Difficulty advocating for your needs or communicating with providers during the process, as well as feeling trapped or like you didn't have choices or agency, can further exacerbate birth trauma.
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Birth trauma can leave you feeling stuck and struggling to move forward. You might experience panic attacks, flashbacks, hypervigilance, emptiness, and a lack of confidence. It can cause bonding difficulties with your baby and relationship issues with your partner. For some, symptoms include intrusive thoughts, nightmares, irritability, difficulty concentrating, physical sensations like pain or nausea, and sleep problems. You might also avoid reminders of the birth, feel emotionally numb, or use distractions or substances to cope. Therapy can help you process these feelings and move into motherhood in a healthier, more peaceful way.
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Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health diagnosis with a specific list of symptoms. Birth trauma is not an official diagnosis in the United States and is more broadly defined. You may have experienced birth trauma or be struggling with your birthing experience and not meet all the qualifying criteria for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. You do not need to be diagnosed with PTSD to benefit from therapy. If you are experiencing distress, sadness, guilt, or other negative emotions following your birth experience, you deserve support. Your pain matters and you can feel better.
“When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.” – Brene Brown
Get help from a therapist for birth trauma today!
I know how frightening and lonely it can be to live with the impact of a traumatic birth. Contact me today to schedule your 15-minute free phone consultation- I’m here for you.